Saturday, August 27, 2005

PART 1 --> General Overview of the Rodent Kingdom

Now I'm not going to lie, I sorta like Disney. It's a cute place, and actually contains some decent rides in certain parks (but that's another topic I have in mind). This is a general overview of the four Disney theme parks and what I think of them.

Lets start with the newest of the Disney theme parks shall we? Animal Kingdom is my least favorite park. The bulk of its entertainment value is in its shows. It has five rides, one of which is a so called "4-D" show, that are worth mentioning. Actually, it only has those rides to mention. The biggest attraction of these supposedly being the safari, which is self explanatory. Only thing is, you're not guaranteed to see any God damned animals. If it's a really hot day? You're fucked. Not only that but the park is only opened from 9-5 for the animals to get their rest. Fucking animal activist imposing their views on others! It has too much raw potential, which just might begin to be tapped when Expedition Everest, a new rollercoaster that looks sweet opens in 2006. As for now, the best way to attack Animal Kingdom is to do the Dinosaur ride, the little kiddy roller coaster they have because it's actually pretty goddamn fun, and the water raft ride. If you must do the safari, do it in the morning first thing, gives you a greater chance at seeing those flea infested animals before they use their common sense and get out of the damn sun, something I myself and everyone else around me should be doing.

Ah yes, the Experimental Prototypical Community Of Tomorrow, better known as EPCOT. This is a nice little park. You can pretty much dodge the Mouse in this one. Yes, you heard me right. Except for that new hand thingie they added next to the Spaceship Earth, which is stupid, I never really see Mickey in this park as much as I do in the others. Mainly because the attraction of EPCOT is based on its World Showcase. They have a certain number of countries represented in the large semi-circle pavilion, one of which is unfortunately France, but if France is avoided, one can have a good time looking at these little mini countries. Another area of the park is the future/education area thingie that's outside the World Showcase. This is actually one park I wouldn't mind spending the day at walking around and such. No real complaints about EPCOT here. Well except that they let French people in...

Okay, not such a good picture since I really didn't take it, but lets move on with what I have to say about the damn park. It's an okay place. If you're into shows and those "behind the scenes" things for movie companies, or if you're just a huge Walt Disney freak, this is the park for you. For us non-freaks, again it's a decent park. A few okay rides, but in my opinion they have two really good rides and the rest can be skipped. You like shows and behind the scenes stuff? Spend the day there. Hell I can even see myself spending a few hours there myself. It's an "active studio" as they say, so you can see some of the stuff they're coming out with. Really cool place, but rides wise, only four to really speak of, one of which is the backlot tour, again for those who like that sort of thing. That and they have a two really great stunt shows, one with cars and one featuring Indiana Jones. Whips, anyone? ^.^ Also, their night show is really something else.
Oh boy, the Mecca for all little kids. It's...Eh it pretty much sucks if you're an adult. If this is the park you're looking forward to when you do your Disney vacation, and you don't have kids or are entertained by very kid-like things, you're better off going to Universal. To be fair, I will tell you that I can think of maybe six rides I would go to the Magic Kingdom to do, and even that's pushing it. I only say six because I have a soft spot in my heart for Pirates of the Caribbean. Advice to anyone going there? Do the trademark rides like Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain (did Walt have a mountain fetish?), and Pirates of the Caribbean. Then go catch the two new and pretty okay show/rides that they have, PhilharMagic and Stitch's Great Escape. After that? Well, just come back for the Wishes fireworks show. It's actually quite nice...

That's my general overview of the Magical Rodent Kingdom. You don't agree with it? Well tough rat pellets!


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