Saturday, August 20, 2005

I'm Really Trying to Type Straight...Honest!

Before I get too drunk on vodka and rum I....Hold on is this Grey Goose? Grey Goose vodka? AHHH!! I'm UNCLEAN!!! I've drunken Frenchnes!!! Oh good Lord on high!! It tastes of cowardice and rodents!! *throws bottle away* Back fowl liquid to the land from which you came!! You are unfit even to make Molotov cocktails! I spit on you! *phteh!*

*cough,cough,hack,cough* combat...invading...Frenchness...

Ack! Well, sorry about that. I should really read the bottle before I pick it up! I narrowly avoid drinking French brandy only to lay victim to Frenchness anyway! Oh what a cruel world this fowl demon Murphy has weaved...Do you hear me you bastard!! I'll get you!! I'LL GEEEET YOOOU!!!

(Hmm, liquor seems to make my postings more comical, or at least to me anyway...)

Yes well, okay enough of that, straight to business! I am going away tomorrow...*squints at clock*...Alright later today to Florida. Yes, I am yet again, in the same year, traversing to the land of rodent, and yes, I'm sure I'm going to Orlando and not Paris, France!

I've been having a rough past two days and resumed my stiff drink intake just an hour ago. I'm not completely drunk, nor do I plan to be. But this journal entry is going to take several rewrites before I catch all the errors. So don't be fooled if you're reading this and it comes out decent. It took countless rewrites to get it in such a condition...

Anycase, I will see you people in a week if I am not able to post before I leave tomorrow at 3pm to get to the airport in time for my 5pm flight, or are we leaving at 2? Anycase, I'm flying JetBlue, which is really a shame. I liked flying Continental to Puerto Rico a few weeks ago. Not only did they give me a full meal, the gave me real utensils! Which didn't make me nervous, but happy that one brave airline was making the statement, "Hey, fuck you people. We're still going to give out our slightly above decent food with real utensils so our customers won't feel like barbarians, thank you very much!"

Very British of them. Not only that, but they do it in risk of incurring the wrath of some lunatic. Very gutsy of them. I like Continental.

Anyway I leave my blog in the care of these lunatics. One of which will be in the same state as me...Only it's permanent...Which sucks cause I liked Jason a lot. Oh well, lets hope he comes to visit. Or that I can sneak up to Tallahassee during the week that I'm going to be down there.

Speaking of fellow bloggers down in Florida...FrankJ...*drools*...I must resume my plan to bring him my glory!!! *hunches over scroll marked SECRET PLAN TO KIDNAP FRANKJ AND MAKE HIM ALL MINE: CLASSIFIED INFORMATION*

Hey, what are you looking at? Every girl needs their hobby...and this is mine. Now shoo! I have evil plans to make...BWAHAHA!!!


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