Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Olympic Food Wars

I heard on the radio that the French president Chirac, aka Froggy McStupidPants, made a crack at Britain. Because the Royal Family is about as useful as a stick at a automatic gun fight, Tony had to answer to this crack on his country.

Anyway Chirac said that British food is absolutely horrible, and the only agricultural contribution England has given to Europe is mad cow disease. And why was this crack made you might ask? It was made in order to deride England in front of the Olympic committee.

First of all, England's just trying to kill France and all those other idiots who were stupid enough to continue eating beef after the announcement was made. They were just testing out their new chemical weapons, and can't be blamed on using it a bunch of idiots. Besides, do you know how small the chances are of getting mad cow disease? Especially if you, I don't know, cook the meat. In any case, those idiots who eat steak tartar deserve to die, because eating raw meat's just wrong and unhealthy to begin with. Unlike sushi, which is just nasty.

Second, I really can't defend England on the food front. Mainly because I've never had what would be called "British Cuisine", but anyone who was about to think up the idea of deep frying anything and everything can't be that bad. Especially when what's being deep fried is Oreos.

Mmmm....Oreos....

In any case, Tony had a good response, saying that he refused to sink down to such a level and continuing this so called "Food War". Though he did have one thing to say: That he rather not go to the G8 conference and break bread with Chirac. Might not seem like much, compared to dear old Rover's recent insulting rampage, but it's very British. Which is good, combat French immaturity with British sophistication. Very good show.

In any case, Chirac shouldn't be talking. Yes his country has come up with a lot of good pastry stuff, but that's just over shadowed by the fact that they eat frog legs, and that's just nasty.

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