Sunday, July 03, 2005

Lessons in Death

Greetings to all my readers! Hopefully you haven't abandoned my blog due to lack of entries, but I assure you it was with good reason that I haven't been doing my entries...

On June 26 my grandfather on my father's side died. I had to fly out to Puerto Rico and take care of some family things. You know, tending to the sick and burying the dead take precedence over blog entries. But I have learned a few things on my week long stay in Puerto Rico. Things about my opinions on death, as well as some things about my family.

First off, I understand the pain associated with someone dying. When I heard he died I felt horrible. But that same day I was, well I guess you can say I was over it. Not that my feelings for him lessened, no not at all. It's just saying that I wasn't...I don't know how to put it. I guess I was less clingy believe it or not. I didn't feel that sense of sorrow or disbelief that those around me felt. I mean, I looked at him and thought "He's gone. That isn't him in there, that's his body. What made him him is, well, gone. "

And I guess that's what separated, or separates me from the people there. I knew that that wasn't him, and that helped everything. It might sound sorta cold and distant, but it's true. We were there in memory of him, but it seemed as if we were there for his body, which is just an empty shell.

Another thing was the period of mourning afterward. To me, such a thing is waste of time. This is not to say that there shouldn't be any type of wake and that the body should just be dumped into the ground. Even I'm not that cold, at least not today. It's just saying that mourning the dead any longer than the three days my family takes it sorta pointless. Not that one shouldn't cut out all feelings on the inside. No not at all. Feeling the loss as you go on with your life shows that you're human and have a soul. But see, that's the point: as you go on with your life. You don't shut down pull a Roman funeral (no pun intended) Where for a few weeks you stop existing.

There are no vengeful spirits who will come to smite you and yours if you don't "properly" mourn, and fuck what your neighbors think because they're a bunch of asses. Keep the memory of your dearly departed in your hearts and in your minds, but continue with life. You might just end up getting stuck in a vicious cycle of grief and mourning if you pull on of these. But then again, some people are comforted by such things, and good for them. This is just my opinion.

Another lesson I shall state is that Pentecostals are fucking nuts. My uncle's wife on my father's side is one and oh boy...What a trip.

First off these people are psycho. They thinks Harry Potter is they devil's butler, and that Pokemon is a tool used by the Church of Satan to recruit children into the legion of darkness and lustful blood smothered hell fire orgies. Great stuff for a Deaver novel, but not at all true. Although, as pointed out by my ever observant and...Cheerful...Companion JohnK, they just very well might be. To which I say, "Better to be surfing on the lake of fire, reading some Harry Potter and listening to Nirvana than in Heaven listening to Garth Brooks and reading Jane Ere."

Hey, it's true. Some people might enjoy that sort of thing, but I myself do not.

In any case this, coupled with the appearance driven mourning of my grandmother ended up in me having to deal with Gabby, my cousin from the Pentecostal and my father's brother. Sweet kid, but is out of control. Seriously, one good smack against the kid's head or one good yelling is what he needs. But she doesn't believe in that, so goodie for me.

In any case, I shall explain this later. For now I take my leave. Good bye.


Blogger Katsvenland said...

Yes, I heard about your grandfather through Johnny, and you have my condolences. I agree about the moving on bit, because I know someone who let her life stop for a while after her husband died, she just shut down and refused to see people, go to church, go to work, and her late husband would have wanted her to continue with her life because although he's gone he's still with her in spirit. I also agree that when you're at a funeral you're not looking at your beloved's burial, because it's just a body and the person isn't there.
I also like Garth Brooks...but that's besides the point. You take a it easy and we're all looking forward to you knocking liberals again in due time.

7/04/2005 11:43 AM  
Blogger Socio-Sweetie said...

Thanks, that means alot. ^_^

7/04/2005 12:15 PM  

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