Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy Fourth Everyone!

Happy Fourth of July all you patriots out there! Today's the day in 1776 on which our founding fathers decided to put on paper exactly what was pissing them off so much that they were rebelling against those annoying limeys. Besides the fact that they were tired of having to deal with fashions that made them look like Liberace only gayer.

I mean come on, I know afterward they still wore those stockings and wigs, but the Brits took it to the extreme. Or was that the French? Doesn't matter, everyone was emulating what the Frogs were wearing back then.

In any case, I would indulge you in some tactical info about the war, but that's not my department. You'd wanna talk to
Jason about that, although i don't know if he's doing one for today. He should though...Because he's an American. But enough about what I can't supply you with, lets talk about what I can tell you about: my view of what happened to lead to this important day in our history.

In my opinion this is the day that defines what Americans are: a group you don't want to fuck with. I mean, lets look at this from how they teach it in fourth or third grades. What they generally teach is that the British wanted, and did, raise the tax on tea in order to get more money. The Americans got pissed at this, having not being represented in the British law making body when the acts were passed. (aka they famous taxation without representation when it came to making the Stamp and Tea Acts that pissed us off)

Okay so lets look at it simply and in a more...Well I don't think adult is what I want to say, but we'll go with an adult stand point based on the little information we are given:

The American colonist started a violent rebellion and raised hell because the Brits placed taxes on their breakfast drinks and playing cards among other things. We took our muskets and bayonets, and went out killing anyone who was unfortunate enough to be wearing a red coat at the time. This was the American Revolution.

Now really, if this was the begining of our history, why would anybody want to mess with us? For Christ's sake, our original flag was a rattle snake, fangs bared, with the phrase "Don't Step On Me" if I am not mistaken. The only reason we didn't go with that was because a woman named Besty Ross gave us another flag to use because the original was wouldn't be very diplomatic.

Well, that's my July Fourth rant. Happy July 4th everyone! Go shoot a liberal in celebration!


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