Monday, May 09, 2005

World Holiday

Yes, today is a national holiday for all to celebrate! Parades should be lining the streets, and children should play and cheer! For today is the most sacred of all days! It is the day when I, yes I, Raquel Roman was born!

*crickets chirp*

What? No flags? No parades? No little old men on mopeds with fezes riding around in my honor? HOW DARE YOU DISHONOR ME IN SUCH A MANNER? You shall all pay! Do you here me? YOU SHALL ALL SUFFER!! My minions shall come forth one day an smite you all.

In any case, I haven't updated because I went to Florida. Yes, the I graced the Great Chad State with my presence for a week. How blessed they were that I decided their ground was suitable for my feet to step upon. But I was not over there simply for pleasure. No, I was on a mission which had two parts:

1) Find, stalk, trap and capture the one known as Frank J. and bring him back to New York so that he might be able to bask in my glory for the rest of his days. (cause lets face it, I feel bad that he cannot have that privilege so I felt I should grant him that)
2) Get one of those Mickey Mouse ice cream sandwiches. (their so YUMMY!!)

The second objective of my mission statement was easily done. I very much enjoyed that frozen treat, and then turned my attentions elsewhere...

My plan was to do so: I would place some bait in an opening that was both clear and secluded, yet in a place where he was very likely to go. I would wait in the nearby foliage or whatever cover is offered, until he bit, and then jump him, knock him out, and BlackMarket-FedX him to New York in a roomy, hole punched box.

Before setting out on this mission, I first had to obtain some bait. It was very easy to talk a group of stoned hippies into protesting against the war and presidency. Especially if you threw in some cookie dough to secure the deal. I set them to protesting in front of a large building in downtown Tallahasse, and hit behind a mail box.

I caught poor old Jebbie about eight times, and i think Rumsfeld came about when i went on a bathroom break because i came back to find them all dead and stranggled. Or maybe it was John Had to go about looking for some new ones. Found them playing that stupid hack-e-sack game they like to play. It also cost me the rest of my cookie dough.

I returned that day to an empty hotel room and called join, to ask if he was the one who killed my first gaggle of hippies. This is when he informed me that Frank J. was in Texas.

Yes well, that seemed to put a cramp in my plans didn't it. Oh well, next time.

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